Guilt to Gratitude

I've been sitting on my bed for about an hour unable to function. I have this overwhelming cloud of guilt around me that I can't seem to shake. Unnecessary guilt isn't something I normally struggle with so it's really making me uncomfortable. I've been trying to read and meditate on the gospel. Then I decided that I just needed to pray. It's amazing to see the power of God once you stop trying and just let Him take over. Immediately, I was able to identify what my guilt is about. It's not actually guilt at all. For one, It's stress haha. But two...I am overwhelmed by the goodness of my God and I just haven't taken the time to thank Him for all He's done and continues to do in my life.

I look back over the past 4 years of my life and I almost start to cry over how God orchestrated every little detail to get me where I am today. My love for people and intimate relationships with those around me has led me to BBC where I am getting overly adequate training for a life of ministry. My spiritual gift of mercy that was once so strong that it was harmful to me I now have learned to control, and as a result God has led me to be in my third semester of RA. My doubts about what to do with my musical gift led me to the Chamber Singers and RiSE, both of which God has used to drastically change my life. My heart ache over someone whose friendship I thought I was going to loose has now been changed to incredible joy of dating my best friend for close to a year now.

And out of every guy in the world, God chose to put me with Aaron Lee Hixson. There could not be a better leader, a better lover, and a better follower of Christ than Aaron. And of all people to put him with, God chose me. I am continually overwhelmed by how God made that happen (I won't bore you with the details).

Coming to BBC has opened up multiple doors for life change and ministry. I've made incredible frienships/relationships here that I am confident I couldn't find anywhere else. I have grown in my walk with God and an understanding of His Word in ways I am confident wouldn't have happened anywhere else.

These things are a part of my every day life. These things are my life. I am part of a world that is perfectly planned out by the Creator of the Universe and He chose me to live in it. He chose me to bless with this school and these people. I am so unworthy of His blessings and yet He continues to bestow them upon me.

At the moment, there is nothing else I can think about.
Thank you, Jesus.